Every week I try to be as transparent as I can with you all while keeping it interesting, not too long, some what professional with a dash of pop culture. This past week I’ve been having all these deep conversations about life and my future.
When I first started this blog it was out of frustration. Writing has been a big part of my healing. Since starting this blog, I have been working on deeper understanding and purpose. Instead of getting down about things not going my way or meeting my expectations, I try to dig deeper and understand what’s going on.
One of my favorite wellness influencers, Fran from the FriendZone pod, always says instead of asking ‘Why is this happening to me?’ we should ask ourselves ‘What can I learn from this?’ This way of thinking eliminates the victim mentality. I don’t want to just harp on the negative. I refuse to keep complaining about the unfortunate things. Instead let me work on understanding and try my best to change it. Life isn’t perfect nor will it ever be.
I am a believer of speaking things into existence, so I know I will be working for myself one day. That is the ultimate goal. I am tired of feeling mistreated by others in the work place. I have dealt with harassment and mistreatment in the work place since my first job at 18 years old. The crazy part is this behavior is such a norm in the work place that speaking up about it, makes you look like the bad person. Speaking up about discrimination can cause people to treat you worst for some strange reason. But to answer the question: What can I learn from this? I can take this information and use it to build my own business. Working for bad companies with poor management only motivates me more to keep working toward building something of my own.
My biggest dream is to create a safe space for women like me. A space where black women can flourish and not have to deal with sexual harassment, racial discrimination, and mistreatment. Somewhere we can work and excel in our area of expertise. A place we can wear our natural hair and not be judge by other races or even our own race. A place where we can flaunt our intelligence and not feel the need to shrink ourselves to make small minded people feel better about their incompetence. A place where our duality can exist freely and openly. Where our magic and our power isn’t used against us but instead celebrated. No code switching or proving how black we are. Understand that we can read Michelle Obama’s book, enjoy watching a various shows, listen to podcasts, play video games, thrift shop, watch anime, stan for Beyonce and Rihanna, love Marvel movies, support each other, tap into our spirituality, listen to Gucci Mane while still loving God! Alternative black girls are a thing too.
I’ve never been interested in being lumped in a group, fitting in, following the crowd, or being placed in a box. I feel like all those things are so limiting to my personal growth. I’m not meant to be contained I am here to soar and reach heights unobtainable. I love the term free spirit or wild heart because if I could think of anything that perfectly describes me it would be those two phrases. Which explains my new community I’ve been building called ‘Of the Wild’.
Being different can make us feel like we don’t belong or like something is wrong with us. When most times it’s that something is RIGHT with us. Everyone isn’t going to understand a non-conforming person who chooses to walk to the beat of their own drum.
Of The Wild is a space where freedom and beauty are celebrated. A place where wildhearts can showcase carefree fashion, holistic wellness and natural hair.
I’m currently working on a logo and brainstorming event and workshop ideas.
This place for me doesn’t exist in the Bay Area. Being educated and cultured doesn’t make us less black. I’m interested in learning about different things, traveling and gaining knowledge in different subjects while still dwelling in and making a difference in my own community.
Here’s where things get tricky…
With the recent death of Nipsey Hussle, a man who was loved throughout the world, created opportunities, loved his family, mastered his craft, built businesses, educated and motivated the masses and was killed by a hater from his community.
Living in Oakland, I have been robbed, I’ve worked at businesses that have been robbed even my church Pastor was robbed. My family have lost plenty of friends and family in this community to gun violence. It’s hard to keep hope and want to build up a community that feels like it doesn’t want to see anyone win. Which is why so many of us move away, and rightfully so. It feels like a lose lose when you have members in your own community trying to bring each other down and a corrupt government trying to make sure we stay down.
We need healing as a whole.
Nipsey shares alot of the same dreams and visions I do, the reasons I work so hard, and won’t give up. Yes, the marathon continues but this harsh reality stares me in the face everyday. We are all different and individually sent to do great things but it can be such a heavy burden to carry. I’ve felt called to lead and do more to change lives and I’ve been told it by so many people. People who are close to me and some who are complete strangers all tell me how I’ve inspire them.
Last year, a very inspirational fashion blogger passed away from cancer. Her name was Kyrzayda Rodroguez (@kyrzayda_), she was such a beautiful spirit online and she stayed strong until the end of her fight. She never stopped blogging even while fighting cancer, going through chemo treatments, losing a lot of weight, and losing her hair. At times she would even share her struggles with her illness. Her website was one of my inspirations when I started my blog. I used her looks and website layouts for reference while developing my own. Well, I went to her site this week and it’s gone. Her blog website is no longer available. Her fans still show love on her instagram but her personal website she built is gone. Makes everything feel so temporary. Here one minute gone the next. Continue to Rest in Peace Beautiful You’re name lives on through the women like me who’s lives you have touched
Thinking about Kyrzayda and Nipsey’s deaths makes me think about the future and not putting off the important things I want to do, like writing a book and getting my graduate degree. It means alot for me to have a physical copy of my writings and accomplishments to leave for my loved ones. I’ve seen my friends Melaysia & Ade Cruse write their own books and succeed. Regardless if the book make the New York Times Best Seller list or if only the people in your neighborhood buy it, at least it’s something to leave that will tell your story. I always felt like I didn’t want to write my book until I felt like I really made “it” but tomorrow isn’t promised. My words can reach someone. I mean look how well my blog is doing after years of talking myself out of starting it. Energy never dies. The inspiration and message we give to others never die.
I can’t help but wish Nipsey could have wrote a book similar to Gucci Mane’s. Telling his story and where he came from. He tell his stories in his music but it would be amazing to have all that knowledge he acquired through reading books and his experiences published on paper. Nipsey was wise even when he was a young rapper but as he matured he really gained alot of clarity and knowledge, I’m happy we still have his many interviews to absorb his wisdom. Maybe Nipsey’s loved ones will still his biography but I remember feeling extremely inspired after reading Gucci Mane’s autobiography. Solange recently tweeted how his book spoke to her as well.
“Never settling, but setting every goal high,
One thousand burpees on the path to my own destruction or success,
But what is a mistake without the lesson?
See, the best teacher in life is your own experience
None of us know who we are until we fail
They say every man is defined by his reaction to any given situation
Well who would you want to defined you?
Someone else or yourself?
Whatever you do homie, give your heart to it
And stay strong” – Nipsey
To end on a high note, this video of Nipsey’s mom not only made me feel better about him dying but it made me feel better about death in general. The peace this woman spoke through her words is truly amazing. She is such a light with a beautiful and gentle spirit, no wonder she raised a King.
Rest Easy Ermias “Nipsey Hussle” Asghedom
Thanks for reading & we’ll talk more next week!