Happy Wednesday everyone,
In the midst of the storm God has still been working in my life. I’ve mentioned dealing with some issues regarding my landlord in Berkeley. Nothing too big but I had to go speak to the rental board to learn my tenant rights. Once my lease ended in January I was ready for the next step, although I wasn’t quite sure what that would be.
I was considering quitting my job and moving back in with my mom but that wasn’t ideal. Finding a job in Elk Grove or Sacramento isn’t a simple task. I was considering moving to LA and room-mating with a friend from high school. I was a bit hesitant about that because with everything that’s been going on lately packing up and leaving my family would be difficult both physically and emotionally. Also I’ve never had a roommate and after the situation with my last business partner, I’m not in a rush to start any great adventures with new people quite yet. Getting a place together is a big commitment and based on the cost of living in Cali, finding a new place to stay if things doesn’t work out isn’t easy at all.
Aaron and I have been talking about moving in together for years but it seemed like the timing was always off. Rent in the Bay Area is sky high and when you’re starting a new job or buying a new car, bills can pile up fast. We’ve been taking our time to figure out life on our own first. Well recently we found a beautiful spacious one bedroom apartment in Hayward with all the amenities for just the right price. Surprisingly the process was easy. We found the place on January 21st, after touring the property we both agreed this is what we’ve been looking for. We officially moved in February 1st.
Our family and friends are just as excited about our new place. They’ve been really helpful and supportive in this process. This is the first time either of us have lived with a significant other. It’s new and surreal for us both. Lol Packing and moving in went really smooth. Besides waiting on PG&E and WiFi to get installed everything has come together nicely. We have some furniture shopping to do. Everyone is asking ‘when’s the housewarming party lol When we get some furniture it’s on and popping.
February has been a great turn around from the hell I experienced in January. Yesterday made one month my grandma has been gone. It still hurts that my grandma isn’t here anymore to share these moments with. She was there happy and excited when I moved into my first place. She even came with me to Walmart last year to help me shop for my new studio. She loved Aaron and I know she’s watching over me. It’s still taking time to get used to her really not being here.
My grandma was there for every milestone in my life. I grew so accustomed to having her here. So attached to driving to her house and seeing her in her chair or calling to talk to her. For 27 years there was never any doubt that my grandma would be at my birthday parties, graduations, grad parties, sports games, baptism, anything i did she was there. She even came with my dad to my first beauty pageant at Sac State. It was just second nature for me to have her there. The whole time we were going through the process I had to remind myself I can’t call her to tell her my good news. This is just another painful reminder that she won’t be at my wedding or there when I buy my first house or there when I have kids. She used to always say when you get rich make sure you get a house big enough for me to live with you when I get real old.
When Aaron and I went to Mexico for my birthday we left from my grandparents house and when we came back my grandma was the first person we saw fresh off the plane. I parked my car at her house the week we were away. Soon as I came through the door she screamed “Happy birthday!! You guys looked so beautiful in Mexico” Lol she was always my cheerleader. She made any little thing I did seem amazing. She showed my picture to people at the casino. 😂 She called me saying she met a few international soccer players, showed them my pictures and they thought I was so beautiful. 😂😂 I was like OMG grandma!! She was always so proud of her kids, grand kids, and great grand kids. I know she’s still proud even though she’s no longer here with us . She’s somewhere still bragging about us. I have two plants from her home going celebration so apart of her is still with me. I miss her everyday.
It’s hard to return back to everyday life. It’s only been a month so I won’t rush my grieving process. Everything takes time. Fixing up our new place and taking care of my plants has been a good distraction. I read everyday. I’ve been attending events with Aaron again and trying to get my creativity flowing again. I don’t want to rush into anything and feel overwhelmed. I’ve been surrounding myself with family and a few close friends. I don’t really have the capacity to be super social these days. One day at a time. I’m used to always being on the go so I’m trying not to feel bad or guilty for taking time to take care of myself. Reminder for everyone to be gentle with yourself. Sometimes self care means being still.
“Be still and know that I am God.” Psalm 46:10
These days my energy is being put into fixing up our new place and making this house feel like a home. Be on the look out for my home decor blog posts coming soon! I am so excited about this entire process. I’ve never had a full apartment of my own to decorate. This is my first time having a full kitchen and my own bathroom! I loved my studio in Berkeley but it was small af yall. It was actually considered an SRO (Single Resident Occupancy) meaning I had my own living space but most of the basic amenities were shared. These type of housing arrangements are common in big metropolitan cities. All and all, moving in our place and embarking on this next journey with my partner is something I’ve been looking forward to for some time now.
Feel free to share your thoughts, feelings and well wishes in the comments below. Interacting with my readers really brighten my day. Writing is my healthy coping mechanism. I am blessed to be able to freely voice my thoughts and feelings on my platform. Thank you guys for respectfully allowing me to be transparent in my writing. Just like Planet Fitness this is a judgement free-zone lol ♥️
Thanks for reading & Happy Black History Month!