January 5, 2019 –
You departed from this world
I gained a guardian angel
I wasnt ready yet.
We aren’t supposed to question God
He makes no mistakes.
But my heart wasn’t ready
I’m supposed to return to my regular day to day with part of me missing?
I’m moving around in autopilot
Haven’t went back home yet because this is all just a bad dream.
I know you’ll come back through the door, smile at us so big and tell us how much you missed us while you were in Mississippi
On your last trip you bought me back a journal
That was an unusual gift coming from you but now I know it was no coincidence
How did you know I would need it?
To empty my sorrows out on these blank pages
Our time can’t be up yet grandma.
Who’s going to rock my babies to sleep with her magic leg shake?
Who’s lap will we all try to fit on now?
Playing Uno at the house just aint the same anymore
We all miss you
I know you will always be with us but I need you here now
I miss how excited you’d get over the smallest things or how much you believed in anything I did no matter how small or big it was
A piece of me is gone forever now and I will never get over it.
I miss you sitting in your chair watching the news or Family Fued and coming to open the door every time I came over, no matter what time of day it was. Or you trying any and everything to brighten my day when I was down.
I remember getting into a fight in jr. high, you picked me up and took me to Macy’s. I begged you to buy me this blue shirt and of course you got it. My parents were pissed. Lol what kid gets suspended from school and go shopping? You took me to the nail shop with you when I was little and even though my dad only allowed me to wear clear nail polish you let me get cotton candy. 😂 He was so mad he mad me take it off soon as he saw it. You took me to your hairdresser to get my first press and curl.
Now I look at the front porch and miss you walking me out to my car. You’d stand and wave on the front porch until I drive off.
I have no poetic or creative way to express this dark cloud that’s been hanging over my head since last Friday.
The only thing that brings me comfort is knowing that you are back with grandpa again. I like to imagine you guys having a fish fry every Friday and playing cards like the good ole days 🕊🕊
Until we meet again. Give grandpa a kiss for me ♥️