Happy Wednesday everyone,
This week man…
When do we get a break? … It really has me wondering should I start ignoring it like most people. For my own sake and mental health should I stop caring so much?
I can’t. I just can’t.
We still aren’t over Stephon Clark’s murder. Now here we go again.
I know the world will never be perfect but… damn man.
Another day. Another week. Another month. Another year. Another hashtag.
For the simple fact that I have a little sister and a family full of young black girls who look just like Nia. My heart hurts for Nia’s older sister, who was also stabbed in the attack. As big sisters our main priority is making sure our little sisters are safe. I can’t even imagine the feeling of seeing something like this happen to my sister, cousin, friend or anyone close to me.
I’ve rode the bart back and forth to work for the past 3 years. I take the bart all the time. All different times of the day. I live down the street from the bart. When I was working customer service dispatch and retail I had to ride the bart to work, sometimes before 6am or after 11pm. Thinking about the endless trips I have taken on the bart, sometimes falling asleep, most times tired from working long hours… seeing this story about Nia is so scary. This hits home a little too close for comfort.
I am Nia Wilson. We all are.
I have been celebrating my new job and my new commute. So thankful that I no longer have to ride bart to work because of it’s delays, expensive ticket prices, crazy passengers and crowded commute hours. But I didn’t imagine something like this taking place. Nia was such a young girl with her whole life ahead of her. Seeing her family mourn on the news just broke my heart.
We joke around and create memes but every time we turn around someone is calling the cops on us for just existing or killing us. I wish I could put into words how it feels to never feel comfortable in a city or better yet a country you were born in. I am from Oakland, CA. I grew up in this city.
And for the “black people kill each other” crowd… You are absolutely right. No one is happy about that or praising that. But imagine being a black person and no one seeing the value in your life not even the people in your own community. BLACK LIVES MATTERS goes for everyone! Lets value our own lives and demand others to value us as well. We have to look over our shoulders and protect ourselves twice as much as any other group on the planet. We are allowed to be tired and angry.
Black women are on the front lines marching protecting and fighting for black men without realizing we have to fight for ourselves as well. We are being targeted as well.
I do believe this was a hate crime. I don’t think he would have done this if Nia wasn’t black. I am tired of the world using the excuse of mental illness every time a white man decides he wants to kill someone. I am tired of the media using horrible pictures to represent innocent victims of color. The fact that they are always so quick to try to shed negative light on the person of color is disgusting. But anytime a white person commits a crime they talk about all their prior accomplishments or their emotional breakdown that caused this action. Why is the media so hell bent on dehumanizing people of color? We, the people, DO NOT NEED A BACKGROUND STORY TO EXCUSE THESE WHITE TERRORISTS!
Sad apologies do not bring back the lives that were lost! Insensitivity for those mourning isn’t forgiven after you give a half ass apology! These families aren’t even allowed to mourn before the media starts trying to criminalize the victims.
Why not point out the actual criminal?
I don’t believe I have ever seen the media talk about mental illness when people of color commit crimes. I don’t recall ever seeing the criminal’s family giving apologies and explanations when a person of color is put in jail. Why is that?
Excuse me for my emotion and anger but it’s hard for me to look at Nia and not see myself or someone I know.
In other heart breaking news:
Earlier this week, I read about Tia Coleman, a black woman who lost her whole family after a duck boat capsized in Missouri. Out of 11 family members who were on the boat only her and her nephew survived.
Another tragedy that pulled at my heart while reading the story. I can’t imagine the pain Tia is feeling. Losing your kids, husband and family members all at the same time, has to be a mother’s worst nightmare. I don’t have any kids yet but the thought alone makes me tear up. I have donated what I can to the gofundme helping Tia bury her 9 family members, below is the link for anyone who feels moved to do the same.
There’s so much going on right now, it’s hard to keep it together when it’s so close to home. In order to keep up with my mental health and my personal self care I’ve been exercising every day this week and slowly changing my eating habits. Sometimes even the nostalgia that comes from listening to old music brightens my day. I still read my books and keep up with the shows I like to watch on tv. Small things to take my mind off the turmoil.
We have to keep working to create change. Tomorrow isn’t promised but we can make the best out of today.
Thanks for reading & we’ll talk more next week!