Happy Wednesday everyone!
This has been a long restless week for me personally.
I went on a girls mini getaway trip to Santa Cruz this past weekend to celebrate my friend’s birthday. It was a much needed staycation. We stayed at a beautiful Airbnb. A weekend filled with girl talk, laughter, beach boardwalk fun, amazing food, drinks and barely any sleep.
I still haven’t quite been able to catch up on sleep because I’ve been busy training and coordinating up coming events at work. Busy. Busy. Busy!
I recently had a conversation with one of my close friends about growth and healing. The recalibration process that comes after break ups. Romantic break ups as well as friendship breakups. I’ve had readers in the past ask me to post about friendships but honestly that is such a sticky topic for me. I have a very small group of individuals I consider true friends. I have had many friendships come and go, some of them ended on bad terms but I don’t intent on airing dirty laundry out on the internet. In the past, things I have said on social media have been twisted and misinterpreted so writing about personal relationships and former friendships is something I try to stay away from.
I’ve grown so much in the past few years and most of it came from being alone and going through things that made me uncomfortable. I have matured enough to know that my past relationships and friendships failed because of miscommunications, unhealthy coping skills, toxic traits, and immaturity from both parties. I am past placing blame on others and a big part of healing is taking responsibility for my actions as well. Which brings me to today’s topic…
“Healing comes in waves” – Alex Elle
Last year, one of my favorite writers, Alex Elle teamed up with MantaBand to create a bangle with a quote engraved. The quote read “Healing comes in waves”. I gifted myself this bangle and I haven’t taken it off since. I wear this MantaBand everyday, all day.
I’ve also kept the original package because of this message inside:
I love this message. When things feel chaotic and out of control reading this bracelet helps me not feel overwhelmed. This mantra brand also reminds me that feeling a little out of control is normal. Back sliding into unhealthy habits and slip ups are okay. I will not beat myself up because I am reminded that the rise and fall are both apart of healing.
Self care and healing aren’t always fun nor pretty. There’s no such thing as being completely healed. My past doesn’t define me. We all slip. No one is perfect nor are we expected to be.
For me, maintaining mental health can be just as stressful as staying on top of physical health. Just like there are days I may not want to go to the gym, there are days I don’t feel like being positive. A lot like sugar and junk food cravings there are days I want to indulge in old habits. For instance, arguing with someone to prove a point instead of just walking away and being the bigger person. These slip ups do not make me a bad person. Occasional slips just means I am human.
“The godly may trip seven times, but they will get up again. But one disaster is enough to overthrow the wicked.” Proverbs 24:16 NLT
My life is constantly changing for the better. I prayed for everything God has blessed me with. But I’d be lying if I said I don’t reminisce on old memories, old friends, and old bonds I built and grew apart from. I’ve learned that everything I went through and everything I am currently going through has helped shape me into the woman I am today. It is not only normal but it is healthy to experience these feelings. Thinking about the past and even sometimes missing the past only reminds me of how far I’ve come. I mourn those friendships I thought would last forever but I also celebrate my journey and the people who are present now.
I will no longer shrink myself to make others comfortable. I have to remind myself while I may have great memories of the past, it is okay to move on from places and people you have outgrown. I cannot allow myself to feel bad for growing and progressing. It’s true you can’t take everyone with you. It hurts sometimes but my personal growth is more important.
Again this post is not about no one person in particularly. This is about ME accepting things that were and being able to let go without feeling guilty. Writing is apart of my healing process. This post is a message to myself. With change and progression it’s easy for me to start questioning and doubting myself.
There will be no self doubt here! I know for a fact God makes me uncomfortable when He wants me to grow. I will only speak positive manifestations over my future so growth, healing, and progress will be the outcome of my current life changes.
Whether it’s a breakup, changing careers, moving to a new area, buying a new car, losing a friend, cutting your hair, growing out your hair, starting a family, losing family, starting a business, starting a blog, writing a book, or anything else new and scary; just remember God is always working. Every experience is vital to our growth. Progression isn’t always as fun as it seems but being uncomfortable doesn’t have to be a bad thing. Walking by faith and doing the unknown is one of the most difficult things I’ve ever done. Being alone in the journey has been the hardest part for me but I am learning it isn’t a bad thing.
Seclusion is the most overwhelming part of growing and healing. Mainly because it gives us no choice but to face ourselves. No matter how much support we may have, no one will be able to walk this road for us. I cannot expect friends and family to understand what I am going through 100% of the time. We are all healing, changing, and growing the best way we know how.
I was inspired to write about how I’ve been feeling lately because I know I’m not only one. Reading and writing are my therapy and I know someone needs these messages as much as I do.
Thank you guys for reading & we’ll talk more next week!❤
P.S. Congrats Bardi! You deserve all the blessings!