Creative Writing

More About Me

Happy Wednesday everyone!

Black History Month is still in full effect! Anyone who hasn’t seen Black Panther yet need to get their lives together and go see that movie! Not only was it an epic ground breaking film, Black Panther the movie and the soundtrack has made history and is shattering box office records worldwide. I am overjoyed with black pride this month! WAKANDA FOREVER !!!!!

Now on to this week’s topic…

While cleaning out my email I found a lot of my old poems and I’ve decided to open up and share a few with you guys.

At the beginning of this month I stated that February will be about highlighting black artists! This week I’ve decided to travel down memory lane and give you guys a glimpse of my art: writing. I created this blog to display my creative writing skills so why not?


Disclaimer: The poems I am sharing were written at different times in my life. Lust and love had me going through a lot of ups and downs. I was young and wild, although I’m still pretty young and still pretty wild. lol  I was trying to heal from heart breaks in private. I held everything in and wrote out my feelings. These poems aren’t to bash anyone. They were written  about different people who were in my life at one point. My poetry tells my story, my experiences, my life. It has everything to do with me and only me. I am posting these poems to share my evolution and growth as a woman and as a writer. Opening up and sharing my poetry is a big deal for me and something I’ve never done. Thank you guys for reading. ❤

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I rather u just rob me instead of set me up like this.. I’m in the middle of no where lost trying to figure out how to get back to that girl i was before i met u

The unattached girl with no intensions on love
That free spirit that come and go as she pleases
The fun chick always down for an adventure
Slowly trying to bring her back
But i cant function without thinking of u
Every little thing reminds me of u
Im sleeping in ur shirt crying and writing poems
But i swear im not in love
Is it a crime that i want u to be mine
Why are you haunting me?
What did i do?
Be with her if thats what u want
Sharing u or fighting over u is something i wont do
Memories of us put my mind at easy
U disappoint me
But i could never hate u
I actually love u
And it pisses me off
U dont deserve my love
But thats the beautiful thing about love
We love despite the flaws and downfalls
I do know i need more
& im not sure u can give me that
Maybe one day
Or maybe not
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Up All Night
All i can do is write
Thoughts of you and her
How did it get this deep
Gotta shake this craziness
Jealousy, lust, seduction, lies, deception, temptation, cheating
Something tells me this wont have an happy ending
That smile, those lips, the way you looked at me, it was just different
Good vibes made you feel real
And that, you just cant fake
When i look you in ur eyes i know you felt the same
I apologize for feeling how i do
This was only supposed to be fun
I promise i tried to fight it, deny it, convince myself i had this under control
Like the heat i feel when you’re around is only temporary
Maybe because just the thought alone is scary
So here i am laying here praying
This will be gone soon
Hoping that things will go back to normal
Too many drinks revealed the truth
Family pictures and i love you’s
 I’ll never make you choose
Caught in a web of lies
They say never leave the one u love for someone u like
Especially not for someone with such a hectic life
You can’t love me if you keep running back to her
I tell myself the best thing to do is walk away
What would be the outcome if i stay?
I never been good with feelings anyway
I rather just hold on to my pride
And keep everything inside
“There will be other guys”
“You deserve better don’t get too attached”
“You already know how this will end”
Criticism from loved ones
but they don’t know you
how i know you
Im afraid things may get out of hand
My heart cant take another bad decision
I like you alot no matter how complicated the situation may be
But the whole thing is very frustrating
I knew from the first night we kissed this would be crazy
But theres something about you
That wont let me leave
I can’t save you from yourself
Maybe next lifetime it’ll work out for you and me
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Insanity 
Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting something different.
If thats the case my heart is insane.
Insane for trying this love thing over and over again expecting change.
Praying that it will not suffer another great pain.
Hoping that this time things wont be the same.
Giving chance after chance foolishly believing its not all in vein.
Why cry?
Over the same man and the same lie..
Insanity
How did i end up here again?
Why do i keep giving in?
Expecting something different.
Trying to fight this nostalgic feeling
But how do i escape when all i want is you
Pure Insanity.
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Going No Where Fast

Love affair?
A fling?
Short love story maybe
Whatever you call it
It can be
Electric
Exciting
Addicting
Tender yet confusing
Satisfying yet unpromising
We steal moments of each others lives
But thats about it
In my dreams you seemed ideal
But oh how misleading those can be
Reality is this feeling will probably never go away
Because when it started its hard to say
Going no where fast
The thought of us
Playing games with each other
You will never belong to me
And i will never really be yours
But with someone else
Is the last place you want to see me
Anger and jealousy
Aren’t valid here
Because who are you
But a sweet nothing in my ear
A small paragraph in this book i call life
There’s nothing significant about this other
Why do you even bother
No point of going any deeper
Thats not the nature of a fling
Dont get upset and no arguing
That isnt your place remember?
No strings attached was my only requirement
But no matter what
Cant get this person off your mind
See how complicated things can get over time
Its out of our control
We cant stop things that are meant to happen naturally
So its best to just keep this thing short and sweet

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Ive avoided asking alot of questions because I already knew the answers.
I avoided alot of talks because I was scared of the truth.
I want to enjoy being with u.
Make the most out of the confusion
I was living in the moment i guess u can say.
But the problem is, like the sun the truth will always shine.
You lied
How is it so easy for you?
And to be honest, even though the truth was staring me in the face the whole time i didnt want to believe it.
Instead i enjoyed my own fairytales of us in my head.
I made u out to be someone u really wasnt.
I saw the potential in u.
And i fell in love with who u could be instead of who u are right now.
I believed in u more than u believed in u.
I cheered u on even when u turned ur back on me.
I was in ur corner helping u out of a situation that u had no intentions on leaving.
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Stupid Love
I expected too much from a fucked up situation.
I was able to open up. I started to trust you.
Things was happening too fast and i believe both of us were scared and confused of the outcome.
Running back to an ex was always your way of dealing with things, huh?
Me running away might have hurt you but i never considered your feelings

I entertained guys to try to replace you

the feeling you gave me

I used to yearn for your touch

the energy between us

Just being around u made me glow

I have yet to feel that again
No one listens to me like you did
No one looks at me and hold me like you did
No one tries to understand me
No one sees me beyond the surface
Understand my hurt and pain like you did
No one broke down that wall I built
I miss you
I tried to forget you
But some nights i just wish to be close to you
Theres still so much left unsaid
But how?
How do you tell someone even tho we are so far apart, even tho you are with someone else, even tho I pushed you away, even tho our lives are completely opposite
I fell for you
And its been this way since day one
Ive never stopped
And idk if i ever will
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Bye

The last day of this chapter.

I love you, still
But im putting the past behind me
Im living in a new city now
Living for me
Chasing my dreams
I wanted so badly to save u
To somehow take u with me
But i keep learning the hard way
You cant change ppl
I wanted to see u grow with me
My only wish is that we travel together
See the world, learn new things
But reality
Isnt always so sweet
Ive been strong for the most part
I still pray for you and wish u the best
Just trying to focus on my own success
I hope ive cried my last tear
Happy New Year, please bring new adventures, new smiles, new love.
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My Silver Lining
Back when cold nights were followed by
White wine and sad rhymes
Tears consumed my pillow case
Miserable love songs and long poems
My heart was burned by deceit, broken
fake love and unhappy memories

The cure was to drown myself with work
Lust turned to dysfunctional love
Through wet eyes
I’d recite a prayer
Not only to heal my heart but to someday replace sorrow with a love I deserve
I spent my final goodbye with one last good long shower cry
I wrote down my resolution before departing to the New Years Party
After my career goals I did something different
I hoped for new ‘love’
A feeling I’ve skated away from for so long
Love was never something I openly welcomed, I attached love with hurt and neglect, But you were my silver lining in a dark cloud, You replaced the rain with a beautiful smile
You are more than I could have ever imagined
My living proof that God answers prayers Evidence there’s power in speaking things into existence
8 months in and everyday is still pure bliss
I’ve learned love doesn’t hurt, it isn’t a struggle, it isn’t a tug a war, I don’t have to compete for affection and it isn’t hard when its true
I thank God everyday for you
Your smile, your laugh, that face you make when I say something crazy
The way you care for me and make sure I’m happy
God was really showing out when he blessed me with you
Patience and understanding
Hard work and motivation
Ambition, Drive, Faith
Lasting True Love, Sorrow filled Poems turn to love letters
At a time where life is chaotic you are exactly what I need
Thank you for being you

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You’ve shown me the true definitions of love and freedom.
Freedom to be myself.
To love
To live
To dream, openly.
Free from judgement and other ppls opinions of me
You hear me
When i cry
When i dream out loud
When i’m trying to figure myself out
There is always someone there
listening,
talking me thru it,
cheering me on,
pushing me.
When im uneasy,
You calm me
True real authentic love
In those moments where im scared to take a leap of faith i feel you telling me its ok i got you.
You provide clarity where there was confusion
I see God in you
I pray for you
I worry about it,
about us
Then you remind me we are always in this together 💗

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Well that’s all for now folks!

I know it was a long one this week so if you read the whole thing…

Shout out to you!

Again, Thank you guys for all the support!

See you next week!!

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Happy Birthday Robyn “Rihanna” Fenty

5 comments on “More About Me

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